id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Welp...herpes.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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