your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
