Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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