I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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