You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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