K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
