I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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