just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
