I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
