But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
