hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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