I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
