im gay
i know
yea but for you.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
