for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
