If that was your dad, he is hot
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Randomize
