Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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