Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
