Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
So much rum. So many feels.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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