I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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