so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
