Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
