I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
