Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
