She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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