we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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