He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
