He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My ass is underappreciated
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
