don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
