You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize