real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
my phone needs a breathalizer
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
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we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
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You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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