do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
