I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
