Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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