Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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