No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
