We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
