THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
