You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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