Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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