hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
