I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
