I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
