I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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