Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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