Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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