Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
