She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize