Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
