Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
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He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
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I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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