it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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