I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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