new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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