I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
why do cheetos always look like penises
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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