he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Randomize
