I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
