Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize