All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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